Who am I?
Heyyy I'm Penny!
In a nutshell... I am a woman on a mission to help heal the world by encouraging people to love and understand themselves.
I basically want to help as many people as I can, to break free from the crippling mental battles and blocks that they are faced with. I want to enlighten, encourage and support them so that they can push past the obstacles preventing them from living the life of joy, satisfaction and abundance that they were created for.
Thanks for visiting my site, I appreciate you!
I often thought my odd behaviour was all down to the trauma I experienced as a child, but I hated thinking back to horrible times so avoided Memory Lane at all costs.
Other times, I would observe the way in which I related to people I cared about and assumed my paranoia and over thinking was a result of the abuse I experienced in a 6 year relationship that started when I was 15. I'd try to get to the root but I'd distract my thoughts with reminders that the relationship had ended over 10 years ago and seeing as I was no longer scared of my abuser, it couldn't possibly still be an issue.
I looked down on myself for misusing substances and becoming obsessed with dieting because to me, these behaviours must have derived from either vanity or my desperate need for approval. I was a walking contradiction constantly frustrated, irritated or disappointed with myself, but then towards the end of 2017, I was diagnosed with ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder) and CPTSD (Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder).
"For the first time, my life was beginning to make sense. That's when I began to understand and love myself."
Before then I knew NOTHING about mental health or what mental health issues looked like. I couldn't believe the traits and symptoms were so prominent in my life yet I had no idea what any of it meant up until that point.
I thought ADHD was a behavioural issue that little boys who are neglected at home have and which 'forces' them to create mayhem for attention. I was completely wrong about PTSD too, I genuinely thought that Post Traumatic Stress was just the term used to describe the few months worth of nightmares soldiers may have when they return home from war.
I knew NOTHING.
It was liberating to realise that all of my 'weird flaws' weren't as unique and hard to explain as I had always thought. I found great relief in learning that other people had struggled like me and felt just as frustrated and blocked but I was just so confused as to why hardly anyone was speaking about it.
Then I realised, the stigma around ADHD is so warped, no one wants to admit to having it and the information surrounding it is so non existent, even huge numbers of medical professionals I have spoken to are misinformed.
When I started to speak about my mental health openly, people often said that I 'hid it well' but the truth is, I only left out the details of my struggles, the signs were clearly there. The thing is though...
'You can't see what you're not looking for'.
(Quote from Broken Brain, a short film on ADHD by Hayley Repton)
I have since done everything I can to educate myself, raise as much awareness as possible and offer support to others who in the same way that I was, may be struggling for reasons that they don't quite understand.
I am now committed to freeing others from mental bondage by sharing what I have been through and learnt and by equipping them with all of the mental health knowledge and wellness tools that I have gained on my journey.
I'm going to kill this ridiculous stigma around mental health once and for all, and I will do it one conversation at a time.